Teen
pregnancy is very complicated situation, no matter how you look at
it. You have undoubtedly heard that Sarah Palin's teenage daughter
Bristol
is pregnant, due to nonstop attempts by the media to discourage voters
from voting in the Republican ticket in 2009. How has this media
coverage affected the Palin family? How has it affected Bristol? Don't
teenage girls who are pregnant have enough challenges as it is?
Here is
an article about teen pregnancy and how to handle it by Peggy
Knudsen. This article discusses many of the issues that a pregnant
teenager faces. Peggy is the Founder of Cradle
of Hope Pregnancy Center, a
center that helps unwed mothers deal with their pregnancies located in
Mount Pleasant, Iowa. You can contact Cradle of Hope with
the
information at the bottom of this page.
Teen Pregnancy - PEER
PRESSURE
It was my freshman year
of high school and I was
sitting across a library table from 5 of my closest friends, when one
of them asked the question,
“How far have you gone with a guy,” and who was it? Talk about peer pressure!!
I paniced, but was
relieved that it started at the other end
of the table because it gave me time to think of my answer as my head
was
flooded with a multitude of thoughts. Should I be totally honest? Was I
ashamed? What would they do if they knew the real truth?As they talked, what seemed
to be very
freely
to me, I heard them explain different situations they had been in and
with
whom. Shocked, but pretending not to be, it was my turn to share my
experience:
I
mentioned the name of a boy, and they oohed
and aahed as they asked “HOW FAR?" I replied “a kiss."
Yep, that is how far I
had gone in my 14 young years. You
see, I had seen teens, guys and girls, who had made mistakes before me,
that
paved a way for my belief system. I had witnessed first hand how
NOTHING GOOD
came out of pre-marital sex! I saw broken hearts, abortions, messed up
lives
and babies born to very young girls.
In spite of the peer
pressure I felt that day, I shared with
my friends how I was not only frightened to have any of the above
happen to me,
but I truly wanted to save myself for the man I married. I did not want
to give
a part of me and have it used or broken, and lose all that I had
dreamed for my
future.
They giggled a bit, but
were quiet and I could tell they did
not want to embarrass me, but 3 years later, that conversation was
brought back
to me as 3 of those girls were getting married because they were
pregnant.
Seniors and pregnant! Wedding plans in the works instead of Prom. I
actually
felt a sense of thankfulness towards them that they did not choose to
abort
their babies in a day when teen pregnancy was not looked upon as it is
today.
Teen Pregnancy - Sex
and technology
That was over 30 years ago. Today the peer pressure is
even greater for teens to have sex.Sexual images and behavior are inundating
our teens in America and around the world.
In
the
technology-driven world we live in, we are exposed to some sort of
sexual
behavior every day, through TV, videos, commercials, internet, music
and
magazines to name a few. There
is a heavy
promotion of easy sex by the media and Hollywood. There we often
see sex without commitment, pregnancies seldom happen
and
very few
people having sex are married.
Teen Pregnancy - Acceptance
or Rejection
So how do we treat the teen who has already engaged in
sexual behavior or even found themselves in an unplanned pregnancy? Do
we treat them harshly and reject them? No, God
Forbid! The pregnant teenager already knows she made a mistake. What
she needs now is love and acceptance. She needs to see those close to
her having an attitude of understanding and compassion.
If
you are pregnant yourself and don't know what to do, there are lots of
people who are willing to help you, you just have to find them. If you
know someone who is pregnant who might need some help, offer a helping
hand. Even a kind word of understanding might be a huge boost to
someone in this difficult situation.
Teen Pregnancy - Why say NO?
If
you or someone you know has already been sexually active, know that
just because you may have said “Yes,” before, doesn’t mean you
can’t say “No,” now. But why would a teenager say "NO!"
There
are lots of reasons, many diseases are passed between multiple sex
partners. Unwanted or unplanned pregnancies can have a devastating
affect on your life. One of the least considered effects is how broken
relationships can break your heart. Sharing sexual intimacy with
someone gives a part of yourself to the other person. If the
relationship breaks apart, that part of you is lost. Many people suffer
severe sadness, depression and loss when a relationship breaks apart.
Many teens may think that having sex is the price of entry
for a relationship or the thing that will keep a relationship together.
Both are
untrue. If sex is the price to have a relationship,
then find someone else!
Teen pregnancy - Some facts
about sex, abstinence and abortion
What
is the answer for teens living in this day and age?
Is the answer handing
out birth control randomly and freely to all who are sexually active?
I would have to
say NO!WHY?Teens
are not using it!
If they were, why
do
we have nearly 2,000 pregnancies per day among unmarried
teens?
Half of all pregnancies among girls under
18 are now ending in abortions, according to “The Times,” June 20,
2008.
The
same article says that a total of 20,289 teen girls had a termination
last year. Birth Control is readily available to teens whenever they
want it, and yet they are not getting it or using it. The government
spends $12 on birth control to every $1 on
abstinence only teaching in our schools. Yet, notice what teens are wanting VS
what we are giving:
92%
of teens surveyed believe that young people
should be taught about abstinence.
84%
believe that young people should be taught
to be married before they have a child.
91% of
parents want schools to teach that adolescents should be expected to
abstain from
sexual activity
79%
of
parents want teens to be taught that they should not have sex until
marriage.
Abstinence
is and always has been the only real safe way to
protect against unplanned pregnancy and STDs, not to mention the
emotional scars
left behind on someone's heart when engaging in such intimate matters.
Abstinence
is an option for everyone whether or not you have
been sexually active in the past.The
decisions you make now will likely shape your life for years to come. High school years are
a time when the pressure is the greatest and sexual activity has the
potential
to take your life in a very different direction than you ever imagined.
Many
teens who become sexually active don’t plan for it to
happen, especially girls. Instead they feel pressured into it. 7 out of 10 girls
under the age of 18 who have had sex either didn’t want it to happen or
had
mixed feelings about the encounter.
When
a teen is pressured into sexual
activity, there are a
number of potential consequences and the most recognizable
consequence is pregnancy. Why does our culture judge, scorn
and
criticize a girl caught in an unplanned pregnancy, and yet
never criticizes a young girl who gets an abortion?
Can you imagine reading
in the headlines, ”14
year old is
caught coming out of abortion clinic after terminating her 20 week old
fetus.
Too young to raise the baby, no male present to help her, needs to
finish
school, too much of an inconvenience for
her.”
OUTRAGED would be the
response, all in the name of Women’s
rights, "choice" or Health!
Look
at the case of Sarah Palin's daughter, who is
getting all sorts of bashing from the media concerning her unexpected
pregnancy. The Palin’s chose to do the honorable thing for their
family, giving the baby life, taking
responsibility for her actions and yes making it very public.
The
media has the
audacity to point a finger in judgment at her for doing the right
thing, when
most teens in this situation are, unfortunately and increasingly
seeking
termination rather than going through with a pregnancy.
In previous generations
such pregnancies often led to babies
being placed for adoption, but we have become a
culture that accepts death and is critical of life. We
should honor and respect life, helping a young
lady in raising her child, or walking through the process of
adoption.
Teen pregnancy - Adoption
is a good choice
For
years there was a stigma about adoption, perhaps you
know of someone who is adopted or has placed a baby for adoption. Maybe
you
have heard such statements as, “I could never give up my baby,” or ”I
would be
considered so selfish to give my baby away.”
You are not giving your
baby up, you are giving
him more. You are not selfish, you are selfless, because you are not
thinking about
yourself, but your baby and what is best for him and you!
Below
I have listed 10 reasons why women say they would
not want to place their baby for adoption.Read it with an open heart and know that God
is not judging you, no
matter what situation you may be in, He loves you and has the answer
for your
life.
He also has provided an
answer for the problem of aborting
babies that we have in our world today and that is ADOPTION! It is a
beautiful
way for families to come together for the sake of a precious gift from
above.
Teen Pregnancy - 10
reasons I don’t want to place my baby for adoption:
1.
Teen pregnancy - It would make me feel too sad.
That
emotion is normal for the circumstances. Carrying a baby for
nine
months involves bonding, so separation is obviously going to be
painful. Adoption can truly be heart breaking on many levels. But, it
also holds hope. It offers a future for your child which you can feel
good about for the rest of your life. You can be proud of the power you
have to make the dreams of the adoptive couple come true. In fact, you
should know that adoption in general does not cause long-term grief for
the birth mother. Studies show that teenage mothers who place their
children for adoption have overall greater satisfaction in their lives
-- in their work, finances and relationships. They are also more
optimistic about the future and less likely to suffer from depression.
So, while sadness is a real issue, it will become less intense as time
goes on, especially when you are confident your baby is well cared for.
2.
Teen pregnancy - I should take responsibility for my own actions.
It
is admirable to have the attitude that you should accept the
consequences of your own behavior. But placing a baby in a loving
adoptive home is not avoiding responsibility. Honestly evaluating the
factors in your situation that would impact a child would be smart on
your part. This includes things like your financial picture,
educational possibilities, and stability in relationships, commitment
to and from the baby's father and your long-term chances for successful
parenting. Choosing a family that will be able to give your child the
ideal upbringing you want for her is totally caring on your part. What
could be more responsible?
3.
Teen pregnancy - I would rather have an abortion.
Do
you think you will be "done" with this situation if you choose
abortion? Think again. The effects of abortion, both physical and
emotional, will be long lasting. (Of those who have had abortions, 94%
regret their decision for a variety of reasons.) You cannot pretend a
baby never existed; an abortion will not accomplish that. You will
still have to accept that you were pregnant, you will still have to
deal with your separation from the child you conceived and you will
still experience loss. Abortion may seem like a quick and logical
solution, but the outcome for you will not be that easy. And as for the
baby, he will have to go through the pain of losing his life just so
you can try to avoid some pain in your own. Does the baby deserve a
chance at life like you do?
4.
Teen pregnancy - The baby's father doesn't like the idea of adoption.
Certainly
the father's feelings should be considered. His fears and concerns
should be addressed. But more than ten thousand studies show that a
loving, two-parent home is best for a baby. If he is not prepared to
provide this, he should know that adoption is an excellent choice.
There is no shame in a father placing his daughter in a loving home
that is not his own, if he is not in the best position to offer the
necessary financial, emotional and spiritual stability for his child.
The father's legal rights will vary from state to state and can be
checked out through any adoption agency. But, he can always step up to
the plate by supporting the birth mother in whatever decision she
makes, whether it be parenting or adoption.
5.
Teen pregnancy - I hate the foster care system.
Although
some kids do very well in foster care, there can be problems with the
system. Maybe you personally can attest to some of them and, of course,
would never want your child to suffer in the same way. But, it is not
fair to compare adoption to foster care. Adoption is permanent and the
adoptive family is thoroughly investigated before placement is made.
The family's commitment is at a much deeper level. Statistically,
adopted kids are likely to have higher self-esteem, a more positive
outlook and better health than children living with either unmarried
mothers or with their grandparents. It is important to realize that
permanent adoption is totally different from the foster care system as
you consider the future for your baby.
6.
Teen pregnancy - I have no guarantee that my baby will be happy.
Life
does not come with guarantees for anyone, but God does have a special
plan for your baby. And you can make decisions that are most likely to
offer your child the best life experience. You can choose from hundreds
of potential parents! Agencies will help you find the families closest
to your own ideal. Prospective parents will tell you all about
themselves and they will describe what adopting your child would mean
to them. The vast majority are going to do their very best to give your
baby a wonderful life in their home. And they will have the financial
means and social resources to do this. You can meet each other and
agree on whatever adoption terms you want. What feels, in some ways,
like a problem pregnancy to you will feel like the greatest gift in the
world to them.
7.
Teen pregnancy - In my family, if you get pregnant you keep the baby.
Family
traditions can be important. But all of them get altered somewhat
through different times and circumstances. It might take courage to
break from the expectations of those people who are important to you.
But if they truly care about you, they will want what is best for you
and your baby. It has been determined that children have undeniable
needs, including ongoing nurturing, safety, the setting of limits and
structure, experiences that fit their stage of development, and a
stable, supportive group of people around them. If you feel that
adoption would give these things to your child, then go with it. It is
your decision to make. The way it has always been done in your family
may not be the right way for you.
8.
Teen pregnancy - I'm afraid my baby will be abused.
If
you read the newspaper, you will soon see it is not typically the
adoptive parents who abuse children. More often, it is the boyfriend of
the child's mother. (Most reported abuse involves an adult man with an
underage girl.) If you are open to a new relationship with a man in
your life, you may want to consider the safety provided to your child
in a home with two committed parents. They will have had home visits
from an adoption agency to make sure they will be suitable parents.
This is not to say a baby will always live a storybook life in an
adoptive home or that you wouldn't do a great job as single mom. Only
you can determine what you think will be the best environment for your
child, but at least think about all the factors before you place your
bet.
9.
Teen pregnancy - My friends think that I should keep the baby.
It's
wonderful to have good friends, isn't it? And they are certainly
sincere when they pressure you to keep the baby, thinking that is
what's best for you. But, the question here is really, "What's best for
the baby?" Your well-meaning friends are not going to make your baby
their number one priority throughout their lives. They most likely will
not share their paychecks with you, will not promise to always live
nearby and will not give up a date with a boyfriend to baby-sit so you
can go out. The emotional support of friends is great. But,
realistically, input from friends should not be very influential as you
consider this important decision. They simply are not educated about
adoption and are not committed to helping you raise your child.
10.
Teen pregnancy - I want someone to love me.
Everyone
wants to be loved. Of course it is tempting to see a baby as someone
who could fulfill that genuine need in you. But, you have it backwards.
Parenting is about self-sacrifice, focusing on the child's needs and
giving freely without expectation of receiving anything back. Yes,
children often love in return. Yet, their role in life is not to make
their mothers feel special, as any two-year-old having a tantrum will
show you.
There is someone who loves you unconditionally and
longs for an ongoing relationship with you: the Creator of both you and
your baby. God's Son Jesus says, "Here I am! I stand at the door and
knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in and
eat with him (her), and he (she) with me" - Revelation 3:20 (NIV). Talk
to God and
tell Him
that you want to feel His love. Ask Him
to help you make the hard decisions that come with an unintended
pregnancy -- and He will!
David, in
the Bible, talks about the mystery of conception. He says to
God, "You created my
inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb." Psalm
139:13 (NIV). A baby is obviously a precious gift that should be
valued. A good mother will want to honor that gift. She will want to
place her baby in the arms that will best carry her son when he needs
help, comfort her daughter when she is hurt and hug her child through
both the challenging and rewarding times in life. Perhaps those arms
will be your own or maybe they will belong to a woman who is longing to
hold your baby in her adoptive arms. Either way, your careful,
thoughtful choice will show that you truly do want what is best for
your baby.
If you would like more information about teen pregnancy, or need
help with your pregnancy, contact:
Peggy Knudsen
Cradle of Hope Pregnancy Center
c/o Faith Christian Outreach Church
PO Box 268
Mount Pleasant, Iowa 52641
(319)986-5377
Teen
pregnancy is very complicated situation, no matter how you look at
it. You have undoubtedly heard that Sarah Palin's teenage daughter
Bristol
is pregnant, due to nonstop attempts by the media to discourage voters
from voting in the Republican ticket in 2009. How has this media
coverage affected the Palin family? How has it affected Bristol? Don't
teenage girls who are pregnant have enough challenges as it is?
I paniced, but was
relieved that it started at the other end
of the table because it gave me time to think of my answer as my head
was
flooded with a multitude of thoughts. Should I be totally honest? Was I
ashamed? What would they do if they knew the real truth?
What
is the answer for teens living in this day and age?
Is the answer handing
out birth control randomly and freely to all who are sexually active?
For
years there was a stigma about adoption, perhaps you
know of someone who is adopted or has placed a baby for adoption. Maybe
you
have heard such statements as, “I could never give up my baby,” or ”I
would be
considered so selfish to give my baby away.”
That
emotion is normal for the circumstances. Carrying a baby for
nine
months involves bonding, so separation is obviously going to be
painful. Adoption can truly be heart breaking on many levels. But, it
also holds hope. It offers a future for your child which you can feel
good about for the rest of your life. You can be proud of the power you
have to make the dreams of the adoptive couple come true. In fact, you
should know that adoption in general does not cause long-term grief for
the birth mother. Studies show that teenage mothers who place their
children for adoption have overall greater satisfaction in their lives
-- in their work, finances and relationships. They are also more
optimistic about the future and less likely to suffer from depression.
So, while sadness is a real issue, it will become less intense as time
goes on, especially when you are confident your baby is well cared for.
David, in
the Bible, talks about the mystery of conception. He says to
God, 
